AN HONEST PRAYER

The Reverend Dr. Lillian Daniel

July 17, 2011

 

First Congregational Church, Glen Ellyn, Illinois, UCC

www.firstconge.org

630-469-3096

 

 

Scripture:  Psalm 17:1-6 (translated)

            1-2Listen while I build my case, God, the most honest prayer you’ll ever hear.

            Show the world I’m innocent— in your heart you know I am. 

            3Go ahead, examine me from inside out, surprise me in the middle of the night— 

            You’ll find I’m just what I say I am.  My words don’t run loose. 
            4-5
I’m not trying to get my way in the world’s way.

            I’m trying to get your way, your Word’s way. 

            I’m staying on your trail; I’m putting one foot in front of the other.  I’m not giving up.

            6-7I call to you, God, because I’m sure of an answer.  So—answer!  bend your ear!  listen sharp!

 

Sermon:

 

A new seminary intern was offering the pastoral prayers one Sunday and received a request to pray for a woman who had a last name he found very difficult to pronounce. It was a name from a country whose language most of us did not speak, Polish, and it sounded nothing like it was spelled. But in the intimacy of congregational life, we had learned how to pronounce it over the years.

 

So it was particularly painful to listen to the young man as he prayed out loud and kept stumbling over the name as he tried to get it right. He would make one attempt to say it, stop himself, try to say it another time, then stop again, wincing, and then butcher the name all over again. It was like it would never end.

 

Finally he let out an exasperated sigh that the whole congregation was relieved to hear, since it meant he would finally stop. Continuing with the prayer, he looked up to the heavens and said, “Oh God, you know what the woman’s name is!”

 

It was an honest prayer. And the honesty was not just in his frustrated comment, but in his sigh to the heavens as well. He was being honest in his emotions in the middle of a prayer, and trusting that God could take care of the details.

 

Sometimes we pray to God with so much specificity, it sounds like we are lecturing a sloppy subordinate at work about when and where to show up for the key event, complete with last names, details about the hospital room number and the exact diagnosis. When what God really desires is an honest emotion, straight from the heart.

 

I have a friend who wants to one day have a cottage by a lake. When I suggested she pray for it, she recoiled. “First I should pray for health,” she said. “And not just my own, but my family’s.”

 

“Don’t forget world peace,” I added. “And a cure for all diseases. Be sure to name them all, with their appropriate Latin names, so God knows exactly what your instructions are, because we wouldn’t want hang nails to be eliminated before cancer. But yes, there’s a lot to cover before you can ask for a cottage.”

 

That kind of thinking, that reluctance to ask God for what we really want, is arrogance posing as humility. It seems humble to not ask God for our own desires, and to put other larger matters first. But doing that seems to imply we have power in all this. As if by asking God to cure diabetes before asking for a raise we might actually affect God’s priorities.

 

Do we honestly think that if no one asked for anything trivial, and everyone got focused on world peace, God would finally see that we had reached some quota and say, “Right, now that four billion and one people have asked for it, I will make it happen. But don’t anybody ask for a cottage by the lake right now, or I’ll get distracted.”

 

Sorry, but I just don’t think our prayer requests have that kind of power. So why pray then?

 

Prayer is about connecting with God, about having a relationship with our divine creator. God desires that with us, and because God loves us so much, God actually cares about our trivial wants, our big dreams and our petty grievances. This is humbling news indeed. We can come to God with anything, and God will work with it.

 

When I do have a selfish desire, prayer inevitably helps, in that is exposes it. By praying for what I really want, I am sometimes shamed into realizing I should not want that thing after all. When you are actually praying something like, “Please don’t let him get that job because if that pompous moron has any more success in life, it will drive me so crazy with jealousy I won’t be able to sleep…” you can’t help but notice that this is not the person you want to be.

 

When you just think these things, your mind allows the toxicity to bubble along, unchecked, but when you lay a desire like that out in front of God, it gets exposed. And once exposed in prayer, God can work on it with you. And a prayer for another person’s downfall might be transformed into a prayer that envy would lose its sin-soaked hold on your heart. But you can’t get there without first passing go, without first asking for a pony, a cottage, your friend’s job or even her husband. God wants to hear our honest prayers.

 

Prayer is full of surprises for me. When I begin, I think I am praying for one thing, but by the end of the prayer, I have amazed myself at what I have come up with. I didn’t know I was so worried about a family member, until their face dominates my mind during prayer time and shuts out the very thing I thought I had wanted to pray for. That prompts me to make a phone call after my “amen,” which in turn leads to more adventures.

 

Sometimes, when I am praying for something I know is foolish, I come to the realization that there is a deeper need beneath it. Praying for an extravagant vacation to Hawaii might really be a prayer to spend more time with family, to be somewhere where the computer and the cell phone do not reign supreme. Before the “amen,” God has revealed all kinds of ways I might connect more deeply with the people I love, and none of them require an airline ticket. By the end, I may still want the vacation, but in prayer, God has taken my desire and led me someplace new.

 

One of my favorite places of prayer is the Benedictine Abbey at St. John’s University in rural Collegeville, Minnesota. You drive and drive through fields of soy beans and suddenly you see the college, marked by an architecturally stunning building that looks like a set piece from a futuristic science fiction movie, a massive structure of poured grey concrete that demands attention from the heavens, completed in 1960 and designed by the Hungarian architect and former member of the Bauhaus, Marcel Breuer. Inside, the concrete swoops and allows light in through modern stained glass at odd angles, and the monks’ seats in the choir are all geometric little seats that separate one worshiper from another as if in astronauts seats, each of us the pilot on our own little prayer adventure. During the regular times of prayer throughout the day, the monks are joined by the rest of us, students, artists in residence, a world famous potter, and writers like me who come for workshops on the craft of spiritual writing, all in the setting where Kathleen Norris produced her beautiful book, Dakota: a Spiritual Geography, exploring her Presbyterian roots in South Dakota, in conversation with artsy Benedictine monks in Minnesota.

 

Benedictine monks have a simple rule which states: “Let the brothers serve one another,” written at a time when sisters might not have been on the radar screen. But at St. John’s they are known for their ecumenical vision to have artistic and literary conversations across the barriers that divide the church. They are currently producing an illuminated Bible, each page hand painted in colors and in gold leaf, a project from medieval times but one that will be admired by Methodists and Muslims as it goes on its rock star illuminated Bible international tour. No wonder so many people find it easy to pray in a place where the soil seems to be soaked in the art of the creator, and brings out the creativity of those who happen upon it in the fields, just a few miles away from the Cracker Barrels, the Menards, the Aldis, the TGI Fridays, the McDonalds and the ubiquitous Taco Bells. Just off the highway and through the cornfields lies a landscape of prayer.

 

But having said that it is easy to pray there, it is not always. Leaving a session with the other writer’s, I was inattentive to their small talk, eager to walk out at exactly 11:45 a.m. to make the noon time worship a ten minute walk away. It would be of five short services each day where scripture is read, songs are sung that I don’t know the tune of, and we sit in our own little cubbies and soak in a tradition that is not any one tribe’s to own, but I had yet to make one that week, and now it was Wednesday. I had things and people to pray for, a ticket to punch.

 

But on the way there, I was joined by two other writers, and the walk slowed to a snail’s pace and the conversation intensified, and by the time we entered, the monks and the lay people in the choir loft were well underway. We slipped in the back, behind the organ, into three little seats with their individual bookshelves, one book for each service and for each person. The monks wore black shirts, the students wore sweatshirts, and the latecomers stumbled in wearing the garment of shame, unaware of where we were in the service, straining to look over the monk’s shoulder to see if he was on page 82 or 92. OK, now I knew I had the right page, but I still wasn’t saying the right words of the right psalm, and he was sitting down just as I was sitting up. Oh no, I was in the evening prayer book, and this was mid-day. Back to page 82 or was it 92. By the time I finally got my book open to the right page, the final song was sung and the monks processed out first, all leaving through a tiny door at the back on the abbey church, into the monastery, off limits to the rest of us, who watched them, the majority of the small congregation, leave, and all the rest of us in our sweatshirts and clothes of many bright colors were left looking garish and mismatched after the sea of men in black had pulled back as if in a wave, leaving the rest of us like  little mismatched sea shells on the sand.

 

“That’s it?” I said. “We missed it. I had no idea it would be over so soon.”

 

“Don’t blink or you’ll miss it,” said the Presbyterian I was sitting next to, as we extracted ourselves from our little monk pods. And the part of me that thinks that prayer is all up to me, that thinks that everything depends upon what I do and say, that part of me thought, “What a waste of time.”

 

But then I considered the monks, who worshiped here in the same way not once a day but five times. Did they ever get bored, distracted and wonder if what they were doing made a difference? A friend had told me a story about a Minneapolis college professor who had brought his undergraduates out to the Abbey to meet the monks. He had prepared them to meet a group of men who had chosen a life entirely apart, to be respectful of their different choices, of their meditative way of life. But when they finally sat down with the young novice in training, just a year or two older than the college kids, his entire goal seemed to be to convince them the monks were no different at all. “We do all the things you guys do,” he exclaimed animatedly. “We watch American Idol, we play video games! It’s great here!”

 

The professor was disappointed. He had wanted his students to see a life apart, something exotic, but instead they just got to see life: Video games, black robes, American Idol, prayer five times a day, fraternity mixers, a trip to an abbey, a shared prayer service on a hot summer day. We’re all just people, trying to get it right before God.

 

My thoughts went back to the seminarian who had botched the woman’s name and mangled it so horribly her relatives had cringed, but I doubt that God cringed when he finally said, “Oh God, you know what the woman’s name is.”

 

And I thought “Oh God, you know what time worship was supposed to start today.” Yes, I had missed most of the prayer service but I had not wasted my time. Any more than the monks who were there had wasted theirs. In prayer we have to lean into one another, into the generations that have gone before. Today and tomorrow the monks will pray in Collegeville and you and I will pray here, and together we will pray each other into an honest prayer that depends less on us than it does on God.

 

Oh, God, you know, you already know it all. Amen.