The Reverend Dr. Lillian Daniel
September 19, 2010
First Congregational Church,
www.firstconge.org
630-469-3096
Scripture: Proverbs 16
1The plans
of the mind belong to mortals, but the answer of the tongue is from the Lord.
2All one’s ways may be pure in one’s own eyes, but the Lord weighs
the spirit.
3Commit your work to the Lord, and your plans will be
established.
4The Lord has
made everything for its purpose, even the wicked for the day of trouble.
5All those who are arrogant are an abomination to the Lord; be
assured, they will not go unpunished.
6By loyalty and faithfulness iniquity is atoned for, and by the fear
of the Lord one
avoids evil.
7When the ways of people please the Lord, he causes even their
enemies to be at peace with them.
8Better is a little with righteousness than large income with
injustice.
9The human mind plans the way, but the Lord directs the
steps.
10Inspired decisions are on the lips of a king; his mouth does not
sin in judgment.
11Honest balances and scales are the Lord’s; all the weights in
the bag are his work.
12It is an abomination to kings to do evil, for the throne is
established by righteousness.
13Righteous lips are the delight of a king, and he loves those
who speak what is right.
14A king’s wrath is a messenger of death, and whoever is wise
will appease it.
15In the light of a king’s face there is life, and his favor is
like the clouds that bring the spring rain.
16How much better to get wisdom than gold! To get understanding is to be chosen rather
than silver.
17The highway of the upright avoids evil; those who guard their
way preserve their lives.
18Pride goes before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall.
Sermon:
Today, as we begin our first in depth sermon on a deadly sin, here are a few modern definitions of pride that you may find in a dictionary today:
Pride [ prīd ] (n)
1. satisfaction with
self: the happy satisfied feeling somebody experiences when having or
achieving something special that other people admire
2. proper sense of own
value: the correct level of respect for the importance and value of your
personal character, life, efforts, or achievements
3. feeling of superiority: a
haughty attitude shown by somebody who believes, often unjustifiably, that he
or she is better than others
You may have noticed that the
first two of those definitions didn’t sound in any way negative, just the last
one.
Think about how we use the word
“pride” in our culture: proud to be an American, Gay pride, black pride. You
should take pride in your appearance. Be proud of yourself. These are positive
qualities and attributes. But when you go to the dictionary for the synonyms of
pride, when you look at the words that mean something similar, it just doesn’t
sound as good.
Synonyms: arrogance, conceit,
smugness, self-importance, egotism, vanity, immodesty,
superiority. And then we recall that third definition: “A feeling of superiority: a haughty attitude shown by
somebody who believes, often unjustifiably, that he or she is better than
others.”
The philosopher Spinoza defined pride this way: “Pride is thinking more highly of oneself than is just, out of love for oneself.”
So how do you define pride? And for you, is pride a good or a bad thing? Well, it all depends on how you define it, does it not? And we really can’t talk about pride without talking about the self-esteem movement, endemic to American culture and life.
These days it is hard to turn on the television during the day time without hearing someone tell you to be good to yourself, to love yourself more. From Oprah, the chief priestess of the movement, self-love is the answer to many problems, and for some people, it really is an answer.
If you know someone who hates herself, who sacrifices constantly for others but never feels any joy or satisfaction, you would be right to encourage them to love themselves more.
Perhaps I am describing you. Do you speak unkindly to yourself in your inner most thoughts? Do you denigrate yourself or punish yourself in some way? Then, of course, you will be someone who desperately needs that reminder that you are worthy of love, even from your own harshest critic, yourself. Christianity has a beautiful answer for that, by the way. It is called the imago dei, which is Latin for the “image of God.” We believe that every human being has been created by God in the image of God. So how can you hate yourself when God created you just as you are? Even when you are mad at or disgusted by you, can you find some love for the God in you, for the imago dei?
But notice the Christian answer to self esteem problems is still not pride. It’s love of the God in us, but not pride. Love of self, if it’s loving the God in us, love of one’s soul, is appropriate because God loves us, and we want to be like God. But pride is loving oneself disproportionately, it’s loving yourself or thinking higher of yourself than you deserve.
Can you think too highly of yourself? Many Americans would say “no.” But, consider these statistics from American culture about our high self esteem and see whether or not you think we’ve slipped into the dangerous territory of pride.
Recently on National Public Radio I heard a story about how our American public education system is rapidly slipping behind that of other nations all around the world, particularly in the area of math and science. I think we were ranked sixteenth. But the good news? American high schoolers were ranked number one in self-confidence.
Now ask yourself, is that a good thing? We want our children to feel good about themselves. But if they’re ranked sixteenth, and they already have the confidence of number one, what are the chances they are going to strive to get better at math and science? I mean, over-confidence can lead to self-satisfaction, while the countries that know that know they are ranked fifteenth for a reason, may have the courage and the desire to work their way to thirteenth, twelfth and eventually number one.
Pride is thinking more highly of oneself than you ought to.
And as the book of proverbs said this morning, in the text that is the basis of
the expression “Pride comes before a fall,” or the exact words of the
scripture: “Pride goes before destruction, and a
haughty spirit before a fall.”
In another survey, students taking the college board tests were asked some additional questions that had no bearing on their scores. They were asked to rate themselves against their peers, first in leadership ability: 70% rated themselves above average, and only 2% rated themselves below average. Now mathematically, that’s just not going to work. [1] Maybe that’s why we’re 16th!
And they weren’t just gifted in leadership, 60 % of American high schoolers rated themselves above average in athletic ability, with only 6% seeing themselves as below average.
And in their ability to get along with others, 0% rated themselves below average. When it came to their interpersonal skills and being able to get along with others, 60% said they were in the top 10%, and 25% thought they were in the top 1%. That explains why teenagers are so easy to get along with. They are all excellent at it. I guess it’s the adults who are below average.
But let’s not pick on our youth. Apparently 2/3 of the adult population of California said they were more concerned about the environment than the majority of people in the state.
In a survey of college faculty, what percentage do you think said that they were better at what they did than their faculty colleagues? 94 %. Don’t we all wish we had gone to that college?
So now, for a little healthy introspection, how would you answer those questions? Don’t you think you care more about the environment and the earth than the average bozo? Aren’t you a little better at your job than the guy down the hall? Aren’t you privately amazed at the incompetence around you? And, parents, you know you think your own high school student is above average in intelligence, so why wouldn’t they think so, too?
And when we think we’re in the top 1 % but get ranked far lower down, it’s never about us, is it? No, the test was unfair, or the grading system flawed, or we had a migraine headache, or the project was impossible – all reasons outside of ourselves.
But when our deal comes through,
or the acceptance letter arrives, or the promotion is offered, it’s just that
special combination of elbow grease, talent and determination of an above
average person. We don’t often stop to consider that we were born into a
certain family that encouraged us in our education, or were born in a certain
country. We don’t think about all the
things we were given freely or by luck. No, we “earned” it.
When the credit for success goes inward, and the blame for failure goes outward, that’s pride, and that’s what Christianity has considered a sin, and a very dangerous one at that.
Why is it dangerous? Because, if the goal of the Christian
journey is to always grow and change, and by the way, that’s what I think the
goal of the Christian journey is: to grow more like Christ, and to change as a
result of our mistakes, and to learn. Well, pride is a huge barrier. Because
pride, the disproportionate love of self, makes us blind to our mistakes, and prevents us from growing and learning. Pride gets in the
way of healthy spiritual growth and change. Being honest about yourself, allows
the Holy Spirit to work on you. Being real about who you are, makes you more
loving and compassionate toward others. But, being prideful makes you see the
rest of the world, all 99% of it, as below average.
I’ve been around people who see the rest of the world as below average and it isn’t any fun. You’ve been around those people too. Maybe you were even raised by one of them –
the person who just doesn’t see their own faults, but sees all of yours, and makes you feel an inch tall in their presence. We don’t want to be that person.
As Christians, we want to be the opposite. Remember last week when I told you that each one of the seven deadly sins has an opposite virtue? Each of the seven ways we mess up our lives has a spiritual solution. Pride’s opposing virtue is humility. Humility has taken a bad wrap in current American culture. If “pride” has many positive meanings, “humble” has many negative ones – like a humble dwelling means a house that is poor, one you wouldn’t want to live in.
But Christ is always challenging the culture, and here too, we are asked as Christians to consider humility as a virtue. Now remember, humility is not self-hatred. There is no room for that for the people who were created by a loving God. But if pride is loving oneself too much, at the expense of others, humility is loving oneself the right amount, and then loving other people extravagantly.
In a survey, a humble person doesn’t rank herself in the bottom 1%. A humble person rejects the whole idea of the survey, a humble person is not that involved in themselves to care where they fall in the percentages. They’re in a different place, a different plane, where who they are is not about who you are.
So the prideful person is
thinking, “Anything you can do I can do better. I can do anything better than
you.” And the humble person isn’t worried about how the other person is
performing. The humble person is thinking, “Anything you can do, go ahead and
do it. And anything I can do, I’ll do it, too.”
When we are humble, we just let people be who they are and we love them, and we let ourselves be who we are and we love ourselves that way too.
Can you love yourself that way? I hope so, because it’s exactly how God loves us: just as we are, just enough, with plenty of love for everyone else. Because love, in humility, never ends.